...sHiT hApPeNs...

Relief after stress

2005-08-26T10:42:00.000-07:00

After the car break down, I've asked myself what caused the alternator problems.

maybe the flood?
wear & tear?
the fuckin' situation wants to irritate me?
or simply God's test of faith? or a test of how I can handle a situation?

The mere fact that I got home was a sign that I passed the test. But the major issue is how much will the repair cost. Im in financial crisis because I used up my car maintenance allocation for tires (4,500). Now, I don't have any money left.

08/26
6:30 am
We pushed the car to make it start and rushed it to the electrical shop just around the corner. Yes, I was first but I waited for 45mins for the shop to open. Fuck them! They are INEFFICIENT. I hate waiting because WAITING is INEFFICIENT. Besides I have a class at 9:30.

7:30
They began working and removed the alternator while recharging the battery.

8:00
The problem was fixed, it was only a small piece of carbon contact points which needed to be replaced because of normal usage.

8:30
They were able to put back the whole thing and luckily it only cost me 450.

I was happy that at least, its over. I went to my 9:30 class.

Car Failure

2005-08-25T23:35:00.000-07:00

08/25 5:30 pm
I parked my car at my mom's office and went to megamall to buy neon lights. When I tried the lights, they were cool but something was weird about the car. Before starting it, I noticed that 2 of the indicator lights were not on. I just didn't mind it because the engine was running smoothly.

(Charge & Fuel - They light up together because the electronic fuel system relies on the alternator power.)

6:15 pm
People got in the car including my mom. We were about 8.

6:40 pm
I was at Libis, and I noticed something was wrong. It began to rain but the wipers were too slow. The lights were dim. My stereo faded out. The battery was discharging. I became worried because I had to shut off all electrical accessories to preserve the battery to keep the engine on.

No headlights. No wipers. No sounds. No aircon. This is some hell. Plus the weather is not cooperating. And I can't put the windows down because it would drain the battery. Other cars drive too slow. Traffic aides stop the flow of traffic when it's my turn, but I step on it and disregard them

7:15
We stopped over to drop off some passengers when I noticed the lights became bright again and I thought it was ok.

7:25
The lights were dim again, and the place was flooded. I had to overtake the slow-moving jeepneys because my battery was almost dead. It was a race against time. Once the battery dies, the engine would shut off.

7:45
JIT. Just in time. I got home when the battery was almost consumed. I was happy that at least, I got home.

WHAT A FUCKIN' STRESSFUL TIME. I was all wet with sweat and I've got a serious headache.

SABOG pa rin ako!!!

2005-08-20T22:33:00.000-07:00

Friday, Aug. 19

I'm very busy sorting all my files just to find my interview questions.
We went to out company for POM again and guess what, traffic was terrible.
All those fuckin' roadside emission testers are at it again. GET A LIFE!
I'm tired and I'm lost, so GIVE ME A LITTLE BREAK!

Saturday, Aug 20

POM LT 2, I messed up. Mental block? Stress? Shit. I need to catch up. I think i overstudied? Or was I mentally stressed out?
Marketing project stress. I lost my files, because my flash disk got corrupted.
I'm mentally tired thinking of all my problems.
My tires needed replacement as well. Fuck all those who dig holes and don't cover them up.

In short, I'm too stressed up to the point my daily routines and even the way I think are being affected.

Midterm stress...

2005-08-04T23:51:00.000-07:00

Nothing still seems to go right. Everything really sucks!

Damn! Still no relaxation for the past five months. I've been deprived of peace inside me!!!

SHIT! Fuck all these problems!!!

First, school sucks!!! In all subjects for two weeks, I've messed things up!

My 2nd Marketing Case Study was only a fuckin' C+ since I messed up one entire part of the case which cost me my B+...
Our Marketing Pass 2 was only a B even if I spent hours and hours working on the useless income statement and forecast solutions which was not actually needed!! FUCK! I hate wasted effort!
LS also sucks because of the highly objective 100-point long test, where 70 items were so detailed from the text
I even messed up my LS case because I assumed too much based on POM and Marketing
I messed up a POM quiz because of stupid calculating mistakes. (IMAGINE I should have gotten an A instead of a C because of careless calculation errors.
Macroeco long test sucks as well. Imagine getting a C because of lack of time, and without knowing how to properly answer an essay question.
Our 30-page THEO paper was full of typographical, spelling and grammatical errors, which I had to fix.

Even personal issues suck!

The weather fuckin' sucks!!! I'm all wet because of my bad habbit of leaving the umbrella in the car.
My internet connection got cut because my phone line got grounded!
I don't have a decent cell phone anymore because my LCD broke down and I sold the damn phone for a low low price!
I'm getting sick of all these...

I'm depressed! I don't know what to do!!!

Useless Weekend... No rest... Pure stress...

2005-07-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

Life is and will never be easy, I guess. I had a long weekend but pure problems got in to me. They keep bothering me that I can't get to sleep well anymore.

SCHOOL Problems.
- POM 104 - I'm stressed in deciding whether I should go or not to the main office of my dad's company in Makati. I don't know if I should listen to my groupmates or to my dad. Plus, I have to make a presentation for Thursday about Chapter 9.
- MKT 101 - Another case study on Wednesday. Damn! I need to do well in here. I also need to work on the project. I'm having a hard time because I keep waiting for nothing.
- LS 11 - An elective but things are piling up. Got a long test this Wednesday and a report to submit for our project.
- TH 131 - Working on our project but problems still come because of lack in guidelines for Turabian Citation Guide. And I don't known how the presentation would go.

PERSONAL issues.
- STRESS STRESS and more STRESS. I don't know where to put myself. I'm lost and I think too much!!! I can't get to control myself because I keep on letting these things get into me and make me think of things that may not be necessarily true. HELP ME!!!

TODAY, I don't have class. I wasted my time just to go to school for nothing!!! Damn it! Free cut lahat and I only found out that my 7:30 class is free cut...

Last Song Syndrome... [take 2]

2005-07-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

We Belong Together
Mariah Carey

(Ooh, ooh, sweet love, yeah)

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt

The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby
(We belong together)

[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Saying to me
"If you think you're lonely now"
Wait a minute
This is too deep (too deep)
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart

I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
It ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life, baby

[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together, baby

[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me 
It's still so hard to believe 
Come back baby, please 
Cause we belong together 

Who am I gonna lean on 
When times get rough 
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up 
Who's gonna take your place 
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together

Last Song Syndrome... hehehehe

2005-07-12T21:19:00.000-07:00

Goin' Crazy
Natalie


Ever since the day you went away 
And left me lonely and cold 
My life just hasn't been the same 
Oh baby no 
When I looked into your eyes 
The moment that I let you go I just broke down (down) 

Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice 
'Cause the feelin that I feel within no other man 
Would ever make me feel so right 

It's nice to smile when I get your phone call at night 
But I'd rather have you here with me 
Right next to me 
And I miss the way you hold me tight 

I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch 
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much 
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny 
For you I'd cross the world for you 
I'd do anything 

That's right baby 
I'm goin' crazy
I need to be your lady 
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it 
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby) 

That's right baby 
Im goin' crazy 
I need to be your lady 
I've been thinking lately 
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me 
I'm in love with you (baby) 

Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you it's been so damn real 
My heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak 
Can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me 
And you want me 
And you miss me 
And you love me 
I'm your lady 
I'll be around waiting for you 
Put it down be the woman for you 
I'm falling so deep for you 
Crazy over you I'm calling 
Callin' out to you 
What am I gonna do? 
It's true no frontin' 
It's you ain't no other 
I can no longer go on without you 
I'll just break down (down)

I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch 
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much 
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny 
For you I'd cross the world for you 
I'd do anything 

That's right baby 
I'm goin' crazy 
I need to be your lady 
I've been thinking lately 
That you and me, yes we can make it 
Just ride with me, roll with me 
I'm in love with you (baby) 

That's right baby 
I'm goin' crazy 
I need to be your lady 
I've been thinking lately 
That you and me, yes we can make it 
Just ride with me, roll with me 
I'm in love with you (baby) 

ooo, crazy,(ooo) 
lady (ooo) 
lately (ooo) 
Baby


Baby, miss n tlga kita...
Sorry I'm really busy...
I know busy ka rin...
Wala lang...
I LOVE YOU!!!

After more than a month...

2005-07-11T22:59:00.000-07:00

I've been very very busy. Imagine a schedule wherein everyday, you get up at 5:30 am and get home at 8:00 pm. TTH is tough. My only pressure-free break is at 9:00-10:30... No class. But it's POM study time.

My classes

I've got very tough classes because they are my majors. (well, most of them)

EC 112 - Intermediate Macroeconomic Theory
- TTH 7:30-9:00
- a lot of online readings that need to be downloaded and I haven't completed them because I'm not patient to wait
- book is damn out of stock!!!
- i lost my notebook so i need to re-do my notes
- exam is on Thurs, July 21, and I haven't done any serious studying

POM 104 - Operations Management
- TTH 10:30-1:00 (5 units) damn heavy so I won't dare mess this up!!
- 1 chapter a day by a pair of reporters
- quiz every session (almost)
- case studies over the weekend
- homeworks
- July 9, 3.5 hours long test!!! damn confusing!!! wahhhhh!!!! (going crazy)
- real-company case analysis (oh no... not again... hirap nito!!!)

MKT 101 - Principles of Marketing
- MWF 9:30-10:30
- project pressure!!!!

LS 11 - Principles of Management
- MWF 2:30-3:30
- long readings
- easy long test!!!

PH 101 - Pilosopiya ng Tao I
- MWF 3:30-4:30
- nothing but class discussions...

TH 131 - Marriage, Family Life & Human Sexuality
- TTH 3:00-4:30
- nothing but lectures where I fall asleep
- tough project though... (CASE STUDY)

PLUS... my business, family pressure, things falling apart (car repairs, increasing gasoline prices, no CD player for both cars [boring!!!!], my line got cut and i don't know why!)

My class schedule

2005-06-07T06:59:00.000-07:00

This is totally silly. Have you ever heard of someone being stressed out because of making a class schedule? YES! Because I'll tell you why I was so stressed out because of a class schedule.

POM 104
There are 6 sections for this class.
A: TTH 6:00-8:30pm
B: WF 6:00-8:30pm
C: WF 8:00-10:30am
D: TTH 10:30-1:00pm
E: TTH 3:00-4:00pm, F 6:00-9:00pm
F: TTH 6:00-8:30pm

Obviously, I can't consider sections A,B,C,E, and F because I drive my carpool at that time. Luckily I made it to the last 3 slots of section D.

MKT 101
There are a lot of sections but only 3 are allocated for MECO.
D: MWF 9:30-10:30am
E: MWF 8:30-9:30am
F: TTH 4:30-6:00pm

Again, I can't take sections E and F because of my carpool but luckily, I made it to section D.

EC 112
There are 7 sections but I cancelled the MWF 7:30-8:30 (2 sections) and the 8:30-9:30 because of my carpool. I also can't go for the 12:00-1:30 class because of POM. I also hate having classes at 4:30-6:00, so I chose TTH 7:30-9:00 since my car is coding on those days.

My very very busy daily schedule

MWF
6:30-9:00 - CARPOOL BUSINESS
9:30-10:30 - MKT 101 D
2:30-3:30 - LS 11 A
3:30-4:30 - PH 101 UU
5:30-8:00 - CARPOOL BUSINESS

TTH
7:30-9:00 - EC 112 D
10:30-1:00 - POM 104 D
1:00-3:00 - CAR SWAPPING
3:00-4:30 - TH 121 D
5:30-8:00 - CARPOOL BUSINESS

Photobucket

2005-06-06T17:33:00.000-07:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

I'm back... after a long long (as in really long) time

2005-06-03T23:50:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys if I haven't posted anything during the last month. I was very busy and very stressed out because of many many things. Let me make this short. A lot of problems of different kinds came my way and I didn't even know how to face them. Anyway, who cares??? I've got them in control now after an entire month of sleepless nights, messed up relations with people here at home, getting out of my mind, doing silly stuff and a lot more of non-sense things.

Well, at least, things are so great right now. I've successfully got what I really wanted just for now. I'm just happy I did and I hope things stay the way they are. (Don't really want to mention it here...)

SHIT...

2005-05-01T00:18:00.000-07:00

I'll be out for now... I can't handle all of these things!!!

...whatever...

2005-04-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

Things have not been so good for almost a month. I can't think of anything to write about because I am definitely not in the mood to think because of too many things in my mind. I just thought of a song which can describe how I am now.

BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS
Green Day

I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And were I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and every things all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I'll walk alone!

DEEP SHIT....

2005-04-19T04:04:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not posting or talking about anything.

So many SHITTY things have been happening lately and WHAT THE FUCK can I do about that SHIT???

I'm so lost and all my dreams are fading away. I can't take this anymore. It's too much for me to handle.

Ahem... And now...

2005-04-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

Summer is boring but the long wait is over.

Today, I got my grades and I'm so happy about them. I arrived at school at 8:30 am because I have to drive the carpool. I was so excited and tensed to find out how well I did during the past semester.

Here are the grades as shown on my grade report:

EC 111 - Intermediate Microeconomic Theory (A)
EC 115 - Intro to Mathematical Economics (A)
EN 12 - Communication in English II (B+)
PSY 101 - General Psychology (A)
SCI 10 - Science & Society (B+)
ACC 30 - Intro to Managerial Accounting (C)

And my QPI is 3.50!! Yey!!! I made it to the DL and it's party time. (Even if I'm all alone now...)

BROKEN PROMISE = BROKEN HEART (again)

2005-04-03T06:19:00.000-07:00

A lot of people can't keep promise. (Well, they say promises are meant to be broken, but what the fuck! Why should you make a promise in the first place if you have to break it anyway?)

So, here's the story. I'm so into this person so much up to the point that I call her up everyday almost all the time from the moment I wake up until the time I go to sleep. Yes, I'm so addicted to her that I can't stand a day without calling her. Everything was so fine not until after a month.

When there were classes, our relationship was perfect or i should say ideal. When I finished this semester, things started to fall apart. I lost communication with her as if she was avoiding me. Sadly, there was something I discovered which explains why she's avoiding me. In fact, she was not careful about it and I found out all about it.

It's total crap since we PROMISED each other that we'll never leave each other nor hurt each other especially on her part because she told me that guys always hurt her.

But now, it seems that she's the one hurting me and yes, it does hurt and it hurts badly. And the fuckin' truth is that I want to leave her but inside me this means breaking a promise but I have to. However, without regular communication, she tells we that it's not true that she loves someone else. But how can I believe it if I've seen a lot of proofs in her friendster account.

I can't take this anymore... Love hurts... When will I ever meet her?

Getting sick during a vacation...

2005-03-29T15:24:00.000-08:00

Hi, I'm back. I had an exciting vacation at Tagaytay but something ruined it. In general, I had fun, because I was able to escape from my everyday boring life here in Manila.

We actually went to a Golf Club Resort at Tagaytay for 3 days. I was so excited to go on the trip and generally, I loved the weather there. It was not like the hot weather here at Manila. However, the cold weather caused me to have a fever. I actually enjoyed the first 2 days and I miss all the fun on the 2nd day because of colds.

Anyway, I enjoyed the place very much. First of all, I loved eating and eating and eating. The food was great. Next, I loved the golf course and the golf caddy. I also loved the room we got because it had a nice bathroom with a bathtub and I spent a lot of time there. Of course, I loved walking around the place alone especially at night when I had the time to think about things.

Unfortunately, I missed out the other activites like kite-flying and swimming because of that stupid cold. Anyway, I'm back in Manila now and how I miss the place. Well, that's life. =p

Rest, Rest, and more rest...

2005-03-20T16:44:00.000-08:00

This is what I love about summer. No class. No homework. No exams. No projects. Also, I can enjoy and concentrate on my carpool business.

Anyway, I'll be out until next week. Anyway, I'll be a text away for those who know my number.

I'm FREE!!!!

2005-03-15T15:49:00.000-08:00

Finally, it's over!!! I'm free to do what I want!!!

No more papers.

No more exams.

No more projects.

No more reportings.

...for now.

Hello SUMMER BREAK!!!

I'm happy now because I think I'll make it to the DL...

I'm sure of getting an A in Micro, Math Eco and Psych
Hopefully, I'll get a B+ in Eng and Sci 10.
And of course, a dreaded C in Acc 30.

Anyway, assuming the highest possible scores, I have a QPI of 3.5.

Anyway, just wish for the best.. :)

End of Stress??? (almost!!!)

2005-03-13T23:34:00.000-08:00

I've been very busy for the past few weeks (almost a month already). I've got tons of work to do. Long tests, papers, reports and projects are due one after the other. Now, after all the hard work, I hope that I get the grades I deserve.

I made a rough estimate of the grades I might get this sem:

1. EC 111 D - Intermediate Microeconomic Theory.
--> I've done pretty well in this course. There are only 4 major requirements, 3 of which are done and they weigh 25% each. There are 2 long exams, exercises and finals.
--> As of now, I got a 96% for exercises and a 92% for my first long test. I'm just not sure about the second. I'll know the results by tomorrow.
TARGET GRADE: B+/A (If I don't get the A, I'll take the finals.)

2. EC 115 D - Intro to Mathematical Economics
--> This class was a little irregular because of a lot of uncontrollable incidents. We only had 2 major exams and oral finals this week.
--> So far, I got a 92.5% in LT 1, a 105.66% in LT 2 and quizzes are at least 92%.
TARGET GRADE: A (if i don't mess up my finals tomorrow)

3. PSY 101 N - General Psychology
--> This class was interesting but full of requirements. It was tough since you need to get an A for class activities AND long tests to get exemptions.
--> So far, got 97% for quizzes, 94% for the reporting, 94% for the project and 90% for the long tests. Luckily, I took the Guidance Tests which boosted my long test grade.
--> Now I'm exempted!!! (YEY!!!)
SURE GRADE: A

4. SCI 10 L - Science & Society
--> This class was also interesting but I messed up one long test. I misunderstood the essay question. There is still an oral exam that I can do well at to boost my grade.
TARGET GRADE: B

5. EN 12 S10 - Communication in English 2
--> I enjoyed the writing activities in this class and I hope I did well in my individual projects. I still need to finish my research proposal which is due on Wednesday. I hope I'll do well...
TARGET GRADE: B+

6. ACC 30 N - Intro to Managerial Accounting
--> As usual, accounting is my problematic subject. I don't have the patience to analyze and try to make use of the lacking given in the problems.
--> I messed up the third fuckin' exam!!! I hated it!!!!
TARGET GRADE: C

ASSUMING I GET THESE GRADES, here are the results:
EC 111: A
EC 115: A
PSY 101: A
SCI 10: B
EN 12: B+
ACC 30: C

MY estimated QPI is: 3.42
Dean's List, hopefully...

Dreams...

2005-02-17T23:10:00.000-08:00

Do dreams really mean something? In Psych class, we talked about dreams and it came out that they do mean some, especially recurring dreams. Ok, my some of my blockmates keep teasing me about having a crush on another blockmate, just because of dreams. Yeah, right! Me and my big mouth. I shouldn't have told them in the first place.

I've actually dreamt of this person since 1st yr until around summer last year. The thing is, I dreamt of her 7 times. But unfortunately, I can only remember the first two in detail.

I don't think I wanna tell the stories now, but I think I'd write about them in the future. The point is, should dreams be taken seriously?

I'm messing things up again!!!

2005-02-09T15:41:00.000-08:00

Ever heard of biorhythm? I have this weird application on my phone that asks you to enter your birthdate and date today. Well, today I found out that my success is low. That explained why I messed up my accounting quiz, forgot to do my accounting homework, messed up the essay of my sci 10 long test, and messed up everything!!! HAHAHAHA... IT SUCKS!!!!

How the fuck can I get to the dean's list if I mess up!!! This is shit...
I computed for my midterms and got the following midterm approximations:

EC 111 (Microeconomics): A
EC 115 (Math Economics): A
SCI 10: B/B+
PSY 101: B/B+
EN 12: B+
ACC 30: C

assuming that I get the maximum grades, I get a 3.42.
But I messed things up!!! Shit! How can I catch up?

[i'm now 20...]

2005-02-08T23:37:00.000-08:00

I've been so busy the past few weeks. I just want to thank all of those who greeted me today either in person, by text, by call or by any means. I really appreciate it, that at least you guys remember...

:)

I hate Accounting but I love Mathematical Economics

2005-01-26T23:58:00.000-08:00

At last! Both of my 3-hour exams are over. That means I'm back to my regular schedule! No more Saturdays to give up. No more carpool trips to miss.

I hate Accounting because simple concepts are made complicated. I hate the exams when you have to compute something, use the result to compute something else and use the new result to compute for something else! Damn! It gives me a head ache. I hated the venue for out exam because it was crowded and it was so hot!!! I know I studied for that accounting test but I don't think I did well because I forgot the previous lesson involving stocks. I'm not expecting to get a high grade but I hope that I'd pass the test at least.

I love Mathematical Economics because in the first place, I loved Math when I was in grade school and high school. I even enjoyed Math 11 and Math 20 during first year. Now, I believe that EC 115 or Mathematical Economics would be a subject for me to do well in. The results of the test were given and our teacher was so depressed because more than 2/3 of the class failed. The average score was around 40, where 50 is passing. Someone even got a 0 but the highest was 97.5. (How did this happen??? Well, I saw the paper but I don't know whose paper it was.) Anyway, we were going to have a retest tomorrow, Thursday, and I was so curious about my score since I don't want to study anymore because of accounting. When I got my paper, I got a 92.5!!! That means even if I mess up the retest, I'm still getting an A for the test even if I cut tomorrow!!!

Now, I'm still worried about a lot of things. The following things still continue STRESSING ME OUT!!!
--> Sci 10 LONG EXAM (1-28)
--> Sci 10 GROUP REPORT (2-2)
--> Psy 101 GROUP REPORT (2-3)
--> Psy 101 LONG EXAM (2-8)
--> Ec 111 Exercise Sets (3x) (1-31)
--> En 12 Readings
--> Ec 115 Review of Calculus

Starting a Week Wrong

2005-01-24T23:21:00.000-08:00

This week started wrong. Last night, there was some chaos between my sister and I over some fucked up shit. Well, I hated it anyway. And yeah, I don't easily accept things the way they are. I slept last night feeling mad at the things happening. P4,000 of my savings to buy a new phone was used up because of the car!!! Damn! I need to save more!!! I was deprived of a Saturday's rest because of my 3-hour Mathematical Economics long test and the car!

Well, today doesn't seem to be fine. I woke up having colds, and I also lost my ballpen. I haven't done any of my homeworks in all my subjects. I haven't studied for Accounting. When I went to school, I was sleepy and I was not aware of what was happening. After my Microeconomics class, I realized that I've lost my fucking ID!! Damn!! Where the fuck could that thing be? I tried to search for it after my English class but I never found the fuckin' thing. Now, I'm thinking of how I would get the fuckin' affidavit of loss. (WTF do you need this??? It's only an ID!!!)

After this, some crazy and weird shit happened when I was driving. Well, I don't want to talk about it anymore because it is so stupid. Anyway, I hope this shit would end.

FUCKED UP LIFE..

2005-01-22T10:38:00.000-08:00

This is total crap. I come home from my work after a stressful day in school and my car suddenly breaks down. No aircon. No power steering. No cooling fan. No fuel electronic injection. No power brake assist. No battery charging. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? Come on. I stop and see that 3 warning lights come on: CHARGE, BRAKE, FUEL. I though it was only the fan belts going loose but shit, a lot more is broken since the belts and the fan are stuck!

I have a mathematical economics long test tomorrow. (Who the fuck wants an exam on a Saturday.) Well, I have no choice.

Today, I woke up at 6:30 am to have my car fixed. I thought I could use it for school, but the repair shop told me it would be fixed by 4:00pm. SHIT! I've got an exam at 1:00pm. I checked to see if the other car was home, but it wasn't. My sister used it for some fuckin' trip. My dad was also too busy with work that's why he can't pick me up. So, I had to take public transportation. (Never taken it before...)

I had my car fixed and I had no escape from my P4,000.00 service fee which included parts and labor. Well, I paid for that since how the fuck would my car run without it.

I'm kinda stressed! I'm worrying if I could get to school alive, or if the car would be fine. That's it. I can't stay for long. Got the fuckin' exam at 1:00. It's 10:30... I need to get ready...

HELL WEEK...

2005-01-21T17:17:00.000-08:00

I'm so tired!!! There are so many things to do for this week!!! Come to think of it, I'm almost done... but I feel so stressed!!! (AS IN STRESSED!) Consider also that a lot of unwanted things are going on...

Here's my schedule since Monday...

MON (1-17)
- 3 page accounting assignment on bonds
- 3 page reflection and integration paper for science 10

TUE (1-18)
- psych long exam

WED (1-19)
- outline for science 10 presentation
- accounting exercises
- english paper

THU (1-20)
- start reviewing for math eco long test

FRI (1-21)
- psych bonus paper
- final math eco problem set

SAT (1-22)
- math eco long test

This week is almost done... Hopefully, my effort should be reflected into the grades I get... (I don't want to feel like last week...) And also, I hate it when others get into my way. Anyway, I'll get back to writing when I'm free.

Wasted effort...

2005-01-14T12:49:00.000-08:00

One thing I hate is when you work for something, the effort gets wasted because of an undesirable outcome. I even hate it when you work harder than someone for something and that person who has done a lot less effort gets more than you, who worked hard.

Yeah, today we had a quiz during ACC 30 about bonds. Yeah, I studied and prepared well for the quiz. When the quiz came, I answered the multiple matching type part first. Luckily, I knew all the terms and did this fast. The first part of the part 2 was kinda confusing. But luckily, I managed to finish it as well. However, the last item, looked easy, but confusing. I answer it but I made a mistake, and I corrected it. However, time ran out. This is the shitty part.

The other classes had more time than us. Our class starts at 10:30 but the quiz was given at 10:55. And we were expected to finish it by the first bell. This is total crap because the other class ended by the second bell. How unfair...

WHAT THE....

2005-01-13T15:41:00.000-08:00

I was dismissed from my Psychology class at around 1:20 pm. Since, it was my last class, I decided to go home early because I want to rest. Yeah, as in rest.

As I walked to my car, I was shocked with what I saw. I was parked at the center of the covered courts parking, when somebody parked beside me and blocked my way out. "SHIT!," I told myself. Yeah, what the fuck can I do?!?!? I looked for a security guard and reported the situation but he wasn't able to do anything. I don't want to bump the car out of the way either because I'll wreck my car. I just waited therte, walking around my car and waited. Luckily, the car who was parked in front of me left, and I was able to move out.

Fuck that asshole?!?!? When will he ever learn proper parking ethics. The next time this happens, watch out...

I.C.

2005-01-10T07:31:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling stressed again. I just checked the JG-SOM website to check out my ACC 30 exam results. When I looked for my seat number, and my ID number, I got a depressing low grade and damn, I think I'm losing my self confidence again. I KNOW and I DID study for that exam. I did exercises, read the book, looked at the handouts. How come when I do all these, I can understand. But when the exam comes, everything seems to be Greek.

That's total crap! Accounting isn't that way in real life. Yeah, I've been using accounting for my carpool business and it isn't tough at all. How come?!?!?

My mind is preoccupied again. Suddenly, I wish that I could have another long vacation away from all these pressure. And yes, I had this dream and I feel I have IC or inferiority complex. I don't know why! It's only now that I've felt this way in my entire life. I've changed from the cheerful me to the boring and no-good me...

This is total crap....

2005-01-09T01:05:00.000-08:00

Imagine this: You have good intentions. You've done something to improve something. Then someone comes out complaining that what you've done is not enough for that someone. Also, I hate it when someone else's mistakes are blamed on me.

Yeah, that shit is what is bothering me now. I just don't want to talk about it because it's something private. Just message me sa yahoo messenger.

Devastated...

2005-01-07T23:16:00.000-08:00

The last few weeks were fine, or should I say, desirable, or even close to perfect. I have had sufficient rest and freedom from stress. I've felt true happiness inside me because things were going on well. (for once.) Anyways, as my motto says, "SHIT HAPPENS," there was a sudden shift of things.

Yeah, (you know who) comes texting and telling me something. Yah, I feel so devastated after that without even knowing what the reason is or what I've done. It's not even clear to me if I've done something wrong!!!

I can't really say everything, and if you want to talk about it, please make a comment.

School again...

2005-01-05T17:01:00.000-08:00

It's around 4:45 pm after going back to school again. I've got a terrible head ache and it seems that my day isn't complete.

I got up at 6:00 am to do my business and went on to school for my first class at 10:30 am. ACC 30 was not really pressuring even if the topic was new. In fact, it was fun since it was easy. Afterwards, I went to the library to relax before meeting someone. At around 12:00, I sent a text to the person I was going to meet and she told me that we can't meet for a long time. However, I managed to give her what I promised. At least, I was able to make her happy. :)

After, I went back to the car to have lunch. (I really have lunch in the car, even if it's hot. Luckily, I found a shaded parking area.) Then, I went to my SCI 10 class for a plenary about environment. I had no choice but to force-focus my attention and take down notes because I know we might have a quiz or a paper about it. Afterwards, I went to my EC 111 class right after the plenary. Luckily, I could relate to what is being discussed because I "crammed" reading the explanations to the exercises. Right after, I went to my EN 12 class and submitted the paper I crammed. (Yeah, Christmas breaks are purely breaks, not study time.) I was thinking of cutting class but I asked myself what I'm going to do. Eventually, I attended class and almost fell asleep because of the boring lectures. (I wanna write my "Creative Non-Fiction" already!!!) As I left the JGSOM building, heading for friendship bridge, I checked my cell phone and saw a text that made me feel depressed. I was supposed to bring my girlfriend home but she told me that she still had things to do.

Well, there's nothing I can do. It seems that my day isn't complete without her. That's why I'm stuck here at RSF doing this blog, while killing time before I do my evening carpool at 5:30pm. Anyway, I just miss her that's why I feel depressed. Anyway, that's life. There's always a next time.

Back to Reality

2005-01-04T23:58:00.000-08:00

Christmas is over once again. No more rest. No more fun. No more vacation. I just finished my English assignment now. (I wasn't able to do it over the break since I left my book at home.) Anyway, at least I'm relaxed, and happy because of something. (SECRET ko na yan!)

Back to school tomorrow?!?!? Yeah. That's the harsh reality of life. You have to go on and face the fact that Christmas break is over. Damn! Back to pressure again. Back to the hard EC111 problems I can't understand. Back to accounting again?!!?

I wish I could extend the break. I also want to repeat Monday afternoon. Yeah, it was fun.

Contentment...

2004-12-25T22:36:00.000-08:00

At last! I got what I wanted!!! This weekend was great. Maybe some unfortunate things happened but at least, I GOT WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED!!! (Yeah!!! :p)

I slept for more than 12 hours today!! I think I gained weight as well because of too much eating. Anyway, 'til next time!!! Bye.

PS. Tinatamad lang ako magpost.

Wala lang...

2004-12-20T21:05:00.000-08:00

Ang boring ng Christmas break!!!

Walang nagtetext!

Walang tumatawag!

Walang online sa YM!

Ano ba yan?!?!? San na kayo?!?!?

Pero pag may pasok, daming nagtetext, tumatawag at online sa YM!!! Bakit ganon?!?!?

Anyway, for once, I feel relaxed!!! Text me na lang. I might not be home this weekend. Cge, thnx!!! :)

Christmas Break ba talaga??? or simula ng pressure???

2004-12-19T00:02:00.000-08:00

At last, school is over for the year and the time has come for me to enjoy and relax.

The dreaded ACC 30 long test is over! (Yes!) It was a horrible exam since the first three pages were fine but the last five were really hard! (As in I wanted to vomit on my test paper!) My dad picked me up and we joined the rest of the family for Simbang Gabi at our chapel. When I got home, I've got a serious headache, and also colds. Damn!! Bad trip!!! I wasn't able to go online!!! Anyway, at least I was able to rest.

The following day was fine until the evening. After Mass, shit happened!!! My rear right tire was fuckin' flat!!! Yeah!!! It sucks. When I went to the nearest gas station to have air pumped in, there was a no good line of cars. It took 15 minutes because the fuckin' air pump was weak. Afterwards, I tried to find a vulcanizing shop to have the tire patched. Yeah, I found one but it was packed up with a lot of public vehicles having their tires patched up. It took me around 30 minutes to get home. Now, my mind is messed up. I'm starting to think of things that I should not think about. WHY???

STAY AWAY FROM ME!!! Experiences

2004-12-15T09:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went to Greenhills to pick up the other car and meet my dad. Traffic was terrible at Boni Serrano Avenue (that's going to EDSA). Since I was conserving fuel, I did not use the airconditioner of the car. Traffic was jammed and while waiting, a lot of sidewalk vendors were at the vicinity. There were those selling cigarettes, candies and also the spray thingy. Since my windows were down, one of the vendors selling the spray asked if I want to buy. I refused but the fuckin' asshole spray the fuckin' spray on me! THE NERVE!!! It's so irritating. I hate it when people still insist on what they want. I said no. So scram you asshole. Leave me alone! Damn it. I got so pissed off that I shifted lanes and put up all the windows.

I hate it when I'm treated that way!!!

WHAT A DAY!!!

2004-12-14T21:30:00.000-08:00

I feel that I've wasted this day for nothing.

I got up at 5:00 am to get ready for school. I could describe this time as the "rush hour" since everybody is using the bathroom to get ready for school or go to work. Even if I have no classes at 7:00 am and that my class is at 9:00, I still have to go to school before 7:00 am because I have to avoid the color coding traffic scheme. Everything was fine. I went to school with one of my friends and I was able to take a nap at the library from 7:30 am to around 8:50. I got up and went to my EC 115 or Math Eco class. (This might be weird.) I felt pissed off because there were no classes again. How the fuck would I learn if classes are always free cut?!?!?!?! How could I pass the fuckin' course.

So I went to the library to kill time and wait for the first part of the color coding traffic scheme to end. At exactly 10:00 am, I left school to get the other car. Traffic was terrible that I was able to arrive at school at 11:35 am. (A few minutes before Psych.) After Psych, 2 more friends hitched a ride home. (Yah, it was cool coz one of them was a blockmate of my crush in first year.)

When I got home, I felt furious (as in fuckin' pissed off) because I had nothing to eat. Luckily, I have cash to have lunch out, so I had lunch out! Afterwards, I went to pick up my mom. When it was getting dark, I switched on the neon lights and what the fuck?!?!? The fucked up cigarette lighter plug had a short circuit that caused the fuse to break. Fuck!!! No stereo!!! I can't live with that. I fixed the short-circuited wirings and replaced the fush while having fuel loaded. I was quite relieved to get it done.

When I got to my mom's office, I was disappointed since only 4 people rode in my service at night and that I found out that only 6 rode in the morning. Damn!!! My mom was talking about stories of different types of "hold-up" incidents, which eventually, changed my mood. I was still thankful that I'm safe and that there's a lot to be thankful for.

A Tiring Weekend

2004-12-13T18:14:00.000-08:00

Ok... I'm craving for a long break from all the pressure of life. Yah! I mean a day-off from school (especially math eco!). I want to sleep seriously. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to sleep. I got up at 8:30 am to take my car to the service station for an oil change and tune-up. I got home after 2 hours since service was slow. When I got home, I had lunch but I had to bring my sister to ballet class. I had no choice since nobody would drive.

In the afternoon, I tried to take a nap but my brother kept asking a lot of questions about his computer. So I wasn't able to sleep again. At night, I went to Eastwood to unwind from pressure. Of course, it was fun but something bad happened (I don't want to talk about it. Just ask me personally.). I got home and took a shower. After, I went to bed.

HELL WEEKS?!?!? (or maybe not)

2004-12-09T14:51:00.001-08:00

The long weekend is over. Yeah, it's time to go back to reality. No more oversleeping, PC games, chatting, and all those fun stuff. The week is almost over and I still feel the fuckin' pressure of not knowing what to expect. It is now Friday, and I feel the pressure of the last week of classes for the year.

This week's schedule is shown here:
Dec 6 Monday,
ACC 30 QUIZ
ACC 30 HOMEWORK
SCI 10 individual reporting
SCI 10 paper

Dec 7 Tuesday (Monday schedule)
no classes for ACC 30, SCI 10 and EN 12
only got EC 111

Dec 8 Wednesday
no classes

Dec 9 Thursday
EC 115 Quiz about Matrices!! (FUCK YOU!!! You havn't even taught us that shit!!!)
PSY 101 LONG TEST 1

Dec 10 Friday
SCI 10 LONG TEST 1

The next week will be more of hell especially on the last 2 days

Dec 16 Thursday
EC 115 LONG TEST 1
EC 115 PROBLEM SET HOMEWORK
PSY 101 REPORTING

Dec 17
ACC 30 DEPARTMENTAL EXAM 1

Damn it! I'm tired...

UNFAIR!

2004-12-06T22:04:00.000-08:00

I just want to take time out to write about the INJUSTICE I feel about life.

... I hate it when I work hard and don't get what I deserve ...

... I hate people who take advantage of my kindness ...

... I hate it when people boast about things that were only given to them by another person ...

... I hate it when I get headaches because of stress ...

... I hate it when I have a point but others don't try to consider it ...

... I hate it when things I buy break down ...

... I hate favoritism when it goes against me ...

... I hate it when I am forced to do something I don't want to do ...

LIFE IS FUCKIN' UNFAIR!!!

A Great Week

2004-12-04T09:50:00.000-08:00

The week of Nov. 29 and Dec. 3 was really great. Why? First of all, I only had classes for 2 days, Tuesday and Wednesday. Classes were suspended during Thursday and Friday because of the storm.

Technically, my schedule for the week was hell, though everything was light during the first two days. On Tuesday, I decided to cut PE because I wanted to rest. Luckily, I really did not have classes during that day. I only had Math Eco, where I did not learn anything (again) because our teacher was unprepared. Psych was another opportunity for me to enjoy because we had a quiz bee at Escaler. It was really fun.

On Wednesday, I had regular Accounting classes, a SCI 10 plenary lecture, a confusing Microeconomics class and the usual boring English class. In fairness, things were fine. When I got home, after my carpooling, I continued studying Psych. I enjoyed reading the book until I fell asleep.

The following day, classes were suspended! (YEAH!) The weather was not that bad yet in the morning, so I did my morning carpool. When I got home, it was raining already but I still managed to do a little car stuff. I bought a new set of fog lamps for the van and I knew it will be handy. At around 3pm, my mom called for an emergency pick up. I rushed to her office since the weather was getting worse. I got there and got 14 passengers in the van! (WOW! That's a lot of cash!) Traffic was horrible but I managed to get through. We got home at 6pm, and the wind was blowing hard.

On Friday, classes were suspended but the weather was not bad anymore, so I took time to rest. I was so tired. At least I'm happy because for once, things turned out how I wanted them to be. I really loved that stormy adventure trip. The fog lamps I installed were indeed handy because in bad weather, the bright yellow lights help me see more. (COOL!)

Confused feelings

2004-11-26T22:27:00.000-08:00

Grrr... I'm tired of all the shit that is happening.

Last Friday, I woke up early to do my daily morning carpool services. Of course, before driving off, I check up the oil, belts, tires and other car parts. Everything was fine, so my mom and I started the trip. We picked up the first three passengers and drove to the next stop. While driving, a trike driver told us that our tire was flat. I did not believe it at first because I know I checked all the tires before leaving. I did not go down because I know cases of carnappers using the same style, so I went to the nearest gasoline station. When I went down, my tire was fuckin' flat. (How the fuck did this shit happened?) So, I inflated the tire until 50 psi, and drove on. While waiting for the next 5 passengers, and continuing driving, I decided to check on the tire again. When I checked it, the pressure dropped, so I decided to drop my passengers at McDonald's and change vehicles. After getting the other car, we drove on to my mom's office, and then I went to class

During lunch time, I left school to pick up the food I ordered for our org's general assembly. I brought a friend with me to pick up the food. We both waited in the car for the food for 20 mins, while listening to different cds. When we got the food, I passed by my house and I saw my dad there, so I went down and checked the situation of the flat tire. FUCK!!! The tire was cracked! Now, I have to buy new tires. (Grrrrr...) Feeling "badtrip" again, (as always) my friend and I went back to school.

Upon dropping the food and parking, I went to my blockmates' food stall. There, I looked so tired and told my blockmate that I was tired. He told me that there were 2 subjects to go. But I disagreed, since I still had English. Eventually, he brought up something that changed my mood. It was about another blockmate who was also a classmate of the same English class. Well, I don't wanna talk about it here. (Nahihiya na ako!!!) The point is that I dumped my bad trip feeling because of this. :p

Yeah, right!

2004-11-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

I hate people when they make promises and they don't keep it! (THAT'S TOTAL BULLSHIT!)

A week ago, (sorry ngayon lang because i'm super busy) something so undesirable happened. (What do you think?) Yah, everyone was against me. I'm being blamed for some bullshit that I don't have anything to do about. (Sorry, I don't wanna post family issues here.) I also hate it when you work hard for something and you don't get repaid at a fair price. (This doesn't necessarily mean cash.)

You think about it. Just message me and I'll be better off talking about it in person rather than here.

Sick and tired...

2004-11-17T13:35:00.000-08:00

Give me a word to describe how you feel your life is now. Ok, my answer for that would be "HOPELESS." Ok, sawa na ako!!!

I've been wanting and wanting to go back to the past when everything was so fine. Ok better yet, close to PERFECT! Now, things SUCK BIG TIME! I hate all the shit that has been happening lately. I need a break. I hope all goes well. I hope that I could do better in school. I hope that our business runs fine. I wish I could enjoy life.

Now, these are all illusions, but I really wish that everything will be fine.

SHIT HAPPENS...

2004-11-12T23:09:00.000-08:00

This is my motto in life. Yah. Yah. I know it's kinda weird to be a motto, but it is a fact. Shit always happens.

Today, a lot of shit happened. Things were going smoothly in the morning when I got up at 6:00 am to do my daily carpool services. Before leaving, I was excited to go because I expected that 8 to 9 people will ride. Unfortunately, I ended up with only 6 people riding, giving me a revenue of 210. Damn! Well, at least I had free gasoline. In school, I arrived at 8:30 am, which gave me enough time to study Accounting and Economics. After my Accounting class at 11:30 am, I texted a friend of mine but my fucking cell phone ran out of load at such a time. So, I rushed to the Rizal Computer Lab to send text. After, I went to the cafeteria to have lunch, but the lines were freaking long, that I left. I was actually lining up for 20 minutes but it seemed forever, that's why I left. (Naturally, coz who the fuck would wait.) I had classes straight from 1:30 to 4:30 pm. Since it was a Friday, I was expecting to escape from the pressure of school and my business by going to SM Megamall at 5:00 pm.

I left the school, driving carefully and slowly to save my gasoline to minimize cost and maximize profit. (Hahaha!!! Optimization in economics!!!) However, when I arrived at Ortigas Center, traffic was terrible that I arrived at my mom's office (in front of Megamall) at 5:15. Yah, what a crappy way for things to happen. There was no more parking because of a bazaar and what the fuck! I was asked to go out the gate because I overtook a long line of people who were going to park. (Fuckin' bitches prioritize those low-life, worthless people who don't work at the office as compared to someone who's mother works there!) So I got out driving recklessly, and I got pissed off because of the ever-fucking U-turn scheme that causes more traffic. I managed to make the U-turn almost picking a fight with a no-brain taxi driver who almost crashed into my car. I drove fast, even beating the mother-fuckin' stoplight and pushing the gas to the floor without minding the police and people crossing. I made a U-turn trying to find a place to buy food (since I skipped lunch). I found a McDonalds store and tried to buy food, but as I was going to enter, there was P35.00 parking fee. FUCK those assholes. I won't pay P35.00 just to buy some food. I backed-up the car but the no-good guard was trying to "fine" me for backing out of the parking. I was so pissed that I shifted to 3rd gear and pushed the gas to the floor, allowing my vehicle to emit those black smoke-belching smoke. (this is normal if you start with 3rd gear from stop.) Next, I managed to get back to my mom's office and I had no choice but to buy food from the bazaar. Luckily, I was able to park the car.

In the bazaar, I found a stall selling Chicken tocino and hotdog rice in a box. I ordered one, but while it was being cooked, their power went off, stopping the cooking process. Since, I've waited for 10 minutes already, I felt irritated. Yah, shit really happens. When we were about to leave, only 4 people rode my service. Fuck! How the hell will I make money! so, my mom and I decided to pick up passengers on the way and luckily, we picked up 5 more, that's why I made P225 at night, which ended my crappy day with thanks to God that at least I earned cash. At home, after eating, as in big time eating, my brother's computer broke down again. Fuck! Also, I feel guilty for remembering and being concerned about someone because that someone does NOT CARE. BULLSHIT!!! I'm fed up of the challenges!! I need a break!!!

Sleepless Nights...

2004-11-08T23:55:00.000-08:00

Nowadays, I always feel sleepy during class. Fuck! I don't know why I can't sleep well at night. I committed myself to do business from 6:30 - 8:30 am during MWF and 5:30 - 7:30 pm daily. I come home everyday so tired but why can't I sleep well???

Are all these problems getting into my sleeping schedule? Or it is just my mind set???

Sem Break is over and WTF??!??!

2004-11-08T15:50:00.000-08:00

Semestral break is over and what the fuck?!? It was the worst I'd ever had, maybe except for the business I'm so thankful about.

School. I like to study the way I used to in high school where I get all those high grades and get a reward after. Well now, its all bullshit. During the past semesters, I always screw-up because of the problems I'm facing (especially the fucking fact that my dad will be leaving early next year). Next, I'm having a hard time budgeting my allowance. I spend around 90% of my fuckin' allowance to buy all those fuckin' expensive textbooks. But what the fuck can I do??? I have no intention of making withdrawals from the capital account of the business since I'll be using that for some other things.

Yes, school has started. And after three days, work is beginning to pile up on me. I've got an Accounting homework due on Monday including a reading assignment. We are also asked to read around 20 pages for Science and Society also for Monday. I have no choice but to read because we might be given a quiz. Luckily, we don't have Microeconomics yet and there is nothing to do for English. Tuesday is gonna be a big problem for me. We are required to read something for Math-Eco but I still haven't bought the fuckin' textbook. We are also required to read something for Psych and I still haven't bought the book.

Today a lot of shit happened. I misplaced the car stereo and it gave me a hell of a head ache to find it. Eventually, my sister found it and I misplaced it early this morning before leaving the house. At least it was still there. I also heard my parents talking about those never-ending financial problems. Why the fuck do those stuff never end? How come those who work hard don't get what they deserve. (I wish I could go back to the days when we were doing well.) My freakin' cell phone is not working well again and what the fuck, I ain't got cash to spend on it coz of those fuckin' expenses. I could not complain to my parents because that is what my allowance is. Increase would still be next year. Uh, come on!! I'm just thankful I have my business.

First Week of Classes

2004-11-06T15:50:00.000-08:00

...mULtiPLe rOLeS...

2004-11-05T09:40:00.000-08:00

Another semester has just started. And guess what??? It seems to be even more challenging than the past few semesters not just because of my horrifying subjects with limitless requirements. Come to think of it, I have three majors which all seem to be heavy. These are:

EC 111 – Intermediate Microeconomic Theory – ok lang, kelangan lang magreview ng basic economics.
EC 115 – Introduction to Mathematical Economics – calculus nanaman?!?!?
ACC 30 – Managerial Accounting – not again!??!?!?

Of course, I still have three other core subjects, which include:

EN 12 – Communication in English 2 – coz I had basic English…
SCI 10 – Science & Society - I think I’ll like this
PSY 101 – General Psychology – hmm… interesting

Aside from school, I have to attend to my business. It’s a bit of a sacrifice but will surely raise a lot of cash for me.

Considering my school and business stuff, my schedule is as follows:

MWF
6:30 – 8:30 am – all on my business
8:30 – 10:30 am – break time in school
10:30 – 11:30 – ACC 30
11:30 – 1:30 – another break
1:30 – 2:30 – SCI 10
2:30 – 3:30 – EC 111
3:30 – 4:30 – EN 12
4:30 – 5:30 – free time
5:30 – 7:30 – business

TTH
7:00 - 8:00 - PE 109 walking
8:00 - 9:00 - break time
9:00 - 10:30 - EC 115
10:30 - 12:00 - break time
12:00 - 1:30 - PSY 101
1:30 - 5:30 - free time at home
5:30 - 7:30 - business

My schedule is tough but on TTH mornings, my driver takes over the business because I have class. But in the afternoon, I take care of it. On MWF, I take care of it the whole day. Basically, I find it helpful but tiring. I entitled this “Multiple Roles” because this sem, my “role set” (application ng SA 21, =p) includes being a student, a driver, a businessman, an accountant, a brother, a friend, a son and also a special friend.

Another Weird Dream

2004-11-04T08:39:00.000-08:00

Ok, before I start narrating one of my weirdest dreams, let me tell you that this might be the craziest post that I'll ever be posting. You see, I believe that dreams are nothing serious and that they shouldn't be taken seriously. But I was wrong. In our Psych class, I was amazed that we are actually in control of our dreams. We will further discuss that in this semester.

Anyway, this is the seventh time that I've dreamt about this person (never mind who she is). All I can remember in my dream was that the setting was in school after getting our grades. I was actually walking along the school halls and then I saw this person in one corner crying. I approached her and asked what was wrong and that she was asked to leave the house because she failed another subject. (WARNING: this is not true. it is only a dream.) I got out my clean extra shirt and used it to wipe her tears away and then I started to tell her about all the shit that has been bothering me all the while. Talking about each others' problems, she stopped crying and I held her hand. She asked me if I can be by her side so that she'll never feel alone and I said yes. Then I asked her if she would like something to eat. I brought her to the caf to buy some food. Then I met my other friends and then they started teasing us because we were walking with our bodies close together. Then we held hands in front of them, which made them tease us even more. Eventually, this is where my dream ends.

Uh, come on. Does all these shit mean anything? I don't know why I keep dreaming about her even though in reality, we don't even talk to each other that much. Can any good psych person answer this question?

Thinking About the Past

2004-11-01T22:35:00.000-08:00

Past is past. It can never be brought back but the memories can still be remembered. Last weekend, I cleaned my room (as in full time cleaning) for the first time during my stay in college and guess what?? I found a lot of things that reminded me of the past.

Life really sucks today. Nothing seems to be in the place where I want them to be (fuck!!!). All I wanted was for things to be back to the way before but that seems impossible. That's why until now, I'm stuck at the summer of 2003. I have to admit that this is one of the best points of my life. Everything was new (like our car, my computer and my phone). We were able to afford to go on long vacation trips. I was still able to go to the gym while my sister attends her French class. When we got home, I would excitedly go online until midnight or even later. It was also the time when we had our house renovated. Looking back at these things, I wish I could bring them all back. FUCK!!! I MISS THOSE DAYS!!!

I miss the times when I kept downloading MP3s and compiling CDs. I miss waking up at 12 and go straight to the gym with my sister. I miss going home in the afternoon and going online to chat and meet new people. I miss my ex who kept me happy during those times.

Now, all that is left of those days are the CDs I compiled and also the stuff that I saw scattered all over my room including my graduation medals. How I wish I could go back just to feel the happiness. But the fucking truth hurts and that all I can do is move forward and face all these fuckin' changes. Damn, I hate the things that are happening today. Grrr... I'm so sick and tired of challenges. Why the fuck does my dad have to leave???

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! I just need a break. And I'm not allowed to go out. I have a lot of work now because I'm running a business to help my parents in my school expenses. At least, I'm just thankful that I still have my family, our house, our cars, my chance to study and of course God's guidance.

Totoo ba?!?!?

2004-10-29T08:31:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy for the past few days running my business... (d nmn cguro dapat) or maybe playing PC games too much.

Well, even if my semestral break was so dull (as in walang kakulay-kulay), I'm so thankful for a lot of things.

First...
I'm so thankful for my business.. (hehehehe) At least I can apply my accounting lessons and of course, earn cash through hard work.

Next... (LAST!!!)
I'm so thankful for my grades... I've been expecting very low grades because I messed up during the last few weeks of classes...

(subject) (expected) (actual) (comments)
EC 102 A A dapat lang!!!
FLC 1SP A B+ langyang tortilla yan!!!
SA 21 B B ok lang!!!
TH 121 C C+ yey!! upgraded!!!
HI 18 B B+ langyang recitation!!!
ACC 10 C C pasira sa grades...
PE 107 C B+ wow!!! at least =p

MY QPI: missed the DL by a bit... (WTF!?!?!?) 3.08.... sayang!!!
maybe next sem... at least naka-tres ako!!!

Well, these are what I'm so happy about kahit na puro problema...

Mah 1st entry...

2004-10-25T01:27:00.000-07:00

Hi.

my first entry...

well, i got up today to do my business (that's carpooling). i drove my mom together with some officemates to work (of course i was paid).

after, i went to school to pick up my frustrating grades. the lines were freaking long and the weather was so damn hot... (langya kc bkt laging covered courts kc eh...)

after getting my grades, i was so relieved coz i got a 3.08 despite my f*cking grade of C in accounting...

well, i went home and on the way, driving at katipunan, some memories of the other day came back to my mind... (i'll talk about this next time...)

that's it for now...